No.738
Do Rainbow Rolls like going out? Do you spend time with IRL friends or are you pretty much a shut-in? Is it possible to be something in-between?
I was very sociophobic and used to feel that I don't need friends for years, but about 4 years ago I realized that it's not the case. So I went on to meet some people in 2014 and 2015, and the whole problem is that I still don't know. I gained experience, I know how it feels to go out as well as how it feels to have all the time just for yourself, and I have completely no idea what do I prefer. Apart from the fact that it's hard to sustain relationships while spending a lot of time alone, I just don't know. When I'm alone, nothing good happens, but neither does anything bad. When I try to go out, I feel very great when it's okay (and I really need this "shared interests" thing), but it's surrounded by huge amounts of stress. It sucks.
Also, I've been told that some of my friends hesitate to talk to me because conversations with me are always long and exhausting.
pic semi-related
No.740
>>739Oh… I don't know; you know what, I don't really like alcohol itself. But I do, in fact, like to be around random people I don't know, especially if it's the center of a big city or a mall or whatever. I know it sounds very superficial, but my social class background has gotten a lot better with time and I feel like we're on the same, safe, first world boat when I'm among people like that. But it doesn't satisfy me enough, I'd like to wander around colorful shit with a friend/friends who think the same, but I waste way too much energy and time when I meet new people, and it turns out we dislike each other after a while 90% of the time.
No.741
I have like two to three people with whom I hang out on special occasions or even meet up sometimes. These close friends don't mind me staying over after asking for shelter in the evening (happened recently). We have some interests in common but the most important part is the social chemistry between us is working. We usually know when to talk or how to react, a skill I lack with other people.
My loose friends shared some time with me, like school friends. They have gotten spare last years, but I don't really care either. We meet only at special events and they don't know how my life goes most of the time.
When it comes to making friends I am on the super slow side. Sometimes it takes about a year until I open up a bit, so nowadays I rarely make new contacts in free time. Maybe I have become too demanding. You know the Spanish proverb? "With friends it's like with books. You should have only few but really good ones."
Some of my hobbies worsened my introverted behavior, like exploring my dreams, doing drugs, reading a lot and of course imageboards. On the other hand I have long periods where I don't want to see anyone, not even relatives or close friends, because they stress me out with their complex requirements of interaction, intruding into my sacred land of feels.
No.744
>>74090% of the people you meet you'll never like, it's a universal rule.
>>742I feel ya, I've met some likable people and a few cute women I wanted to get to know at my college, but people just rush out once they're out.
No.746
I'm pretty shut in, sadly. Just way too nervous around people when I'm out, kinda want to change that.
No.747
I was very lucky to make a number of great friends in elementary school and secondary school
With several of them, I've become closer and continue to hang out with regularly (a couple I live with because we ended up at the same university)
I will say it is very nice having such people around. Even when it's been several days completely alone, I can send someone a message and have a little conversation. In the extreme, they are a major reason suicidal thoughts have stayed thoughts.
I also love being alone. I'm good at entertaining myself, and I love going on walks, whether it's in a comfy suburban area at night, or a forest trail, or the crowded downtown area like
>>740Socially, it amazes me I have such good friends in the first place. I'm bad at meeting new people. Any new 'friends' I've made at university are simply friends of my established friends with whom I hang out with by association
I don't make my own friends or talk to people in my classes. Sometimes, there's situations where I have good conversations with people, but I never talk to them beyond that. Mostly I avoid communication. Eye contact is difficult. Feels like my soul is being stolen.
Maybe I feel like I already have enough friends.
In the next few years I'm going to have to move from the region where I met all these friends and grew up. I'm not sure how I will remain social, if at all, when in a new city
I want to tell all the super anti-social people ITT to try and make friends if you feel lonely, but I am not in a position to give good advice…
No.748
I like going out but only at night on my own (edgy I know).
When I do go out I tent to just walk around until I have something better to do or my feet hurt.
Most of the time I just walk to my local Tesco (UK supermarket) and get my self something to eat then walk for an hour after that.
No.749
>>748I'm a huge fan of night walks!
Even when there's little reason to go out, it's good to get fresh air and exercise
I tend to just think, and sometimes I go to the supermarket too or Tim Horton's
No.768
>>748>>749I have serious photophobia so I tend to favor nights over days. It wasn't so bad when I lived in the city, but a few years ago I had to move out into the middle of nowhere. So now the times when I want to go out everything is closed and I normally wind up just walking around the woods.
No.769
I know what you are talking about, OP,
as I'm practically the same.
I tend to isolate myself frequently, but nevertheless manage to make some good friends.
Hanging out with people is really stressful. Sometimes they want to talk about serious stuff,
but through the internet and imageboards I am over-saturated with ideas and opinions,
and I tend to rather think for myself anyway, so this makes these kind of conversations kind of tiring.
I just like to have trivial relaxing and senseless fun.
Staying alone and isolated has it's upsides
I am a 'play-alone meister' after all.
But I still tend to feel guilty after a while.
All of this tends to make my social-life kind of fucked up,
but I guess it's ok like that.
No.771
>>738>Rainbow RollsI actually meant to trigger the "Sushi Rolls" wordfilter
>>741I, too, think that having a few good friends is better than many mediocre ones, but I still wish I had at least one that would share more interests/preferences with me.
I also know that "complex interactions" feel, but I'm not anxious about it when I see the closest ones. I sometimes cancel meetings with others because of that, though.
>>745>depressionWell, that's where a professional should help, you should consider visiting one if you haven't yet!
>>747First of all, good for you for having good friends!
>I also love being alone. I'm good at entertaining myself (…) whether it's in a comfy suburban area at night, or a forest trail, or the crowded downtown area like >>740This is the part I personally miss. Many times when I'm there alone, I'm not very happy or entertained and I keep thinking "I wish someone was here with me to appreciate all the stuff".
>I'm bad at meeting new people.I made a friend by meeting them IRL first pretty much for the first time literally 2 days ago on a long-ish bus ride
(turns out she lives in the same city and is kind of a weeb too, yay?). Prior to that, I've always known people online before we met, because as I mentioned I need my friends to be similar to me at least in a way, and I can't really imagine finding an IRL hub of such people. Anime cons aren't probably a good idea because I don't even watch that much anime, and my music taste is "too hipster" so I can't really go to concerts of my favorite musicians or anything.
No.772
Continuing my wall of text from
>>771>>747>Eye contact is difficult.Oh god you'd so hate me. I keep playing with my friends' hair and we touch, caress and hug all the time.
"my friends and I touch each other all the time" sounds worse than it should>I want to tell all the super anti-social people ITT to try and make friends if you feel lonely, but I am not in a position to give good advice…I think I would say the same. Do try to find friends (in my case shared interests are crucial, maybe you should consider that) but only if you feel that you need them, and don't take my word for it because I'm not entirely satisfied with my social life so maybe I'm doing something wrong.
>>748>>749>>768Lone walks sound good too, but it's a different thing than walking with someone. But yeah, sometimes it's cool, I especially like it when I have a music player with headphones and a camera with me (read: phone, I guess). Night walks with someone are super great.
No.773
>>771>>772And the last part:
>>769>Hanging out with people is really stressful.As I mentioned, yeah, I feel like it's more stressful for me than it should be, but only with people I'm not VERY close with. I'm extremely comfortable among these few very close ones.
>through the internet and imageboards I am over-saturated with ideas and opinionsOh, I was like that (and know some people who are) too, but I'm not anymore. It's possible to leave this way of thought, but you need to be sure that you really want it, only you know if you want to sacrifice such stuff for being able to hold a slightly more normal conversation.
>Staying alone and isolated has it's upsides (…) But I still tend to feel guilty after a while.Yeah, it bothers me how I enjoy both ways of life but it's hard to keep them at the same time.
So getting back to the point of my original post, I gain experience(s?) by going out, hoping that I'll know better what I like, but I don't. I was on a new year's party with my closest friends and some people I didn't know before, and it was good but also very shitty and exhausting at some point, so I still have no idea.
No.774
>>771>but I still wish I had at least one that would share more interests/preferences with meI have a friend who is scarily similar to me, and we get along horribly. I get along better with people who are different from me, since we can learn things from each other.
No.775
>>774Oh, I can imagine that. One of the people I get along the most is, indeed, a person that likes completely different stuff than I do, and I know some that like stuff very similar to what I like and we don't really like each other that much. What I meant is, I'd like to have a friend who is similar to me AND would get along with me.
No.777
>>772Are you grill?
I've noticed girls are A LOT more touchy and affectionate with their friends than guys
It's nice. They give me the only hugs I get…
No.779
>>777Yes, and pretty much all my friends are girls too. And you're probably right that guys are less touchy in general
No.805
>>738 (OP)
I suppose I'd fall somewhere between being social and being an outright shut-in, though I've undoubtedly teetered closer to the "shut-in" end of that axis as of late. I've only a few IRL friends that I still visit, and even then seeing two of the core members of that social circle has become something of a chore:
- One has descended so far into drug use that he scarcely does anything outside of it.
- Another couldn't sort out his romantic affairs if his life depended on it, and thus turns to me and constantly asks for my thoughts, opinions, and advice on very nearly every last thing that happens in his love life.
Still, there is one of my IRL friends with whom I share a deep connection and who isn't an emotional vampire. I enjoy spending time with him. I've a few other such friends in addition to him, but they all live several hours away by car, so I can visit them only infrequently.
I've never been particularly stressed or bothered by loneliness, so I suppose I'm not especially driven to have many friendships or go out and be social, as I'm often content to work on something by myself or converse with my online friends instead. Of course, I've also come to associate large numbers of friends with an explosively higher incidence of drama, which further disincentivizes my being social.
>>739As much as I enjoy getting buzzed, I suspect that I'd get terribly bored sitting by myself at a bar. For that matter, intoxication always makes me rather affectionate, so being alone while getting tipsy wouldn't make very much sense in my case. Were I with good friends, however, that might make for an enjoyable time.
No.806
>>805 (continued)
>>740That's quite an interesting concept, Sushi Roll. While it's vaguely comforting to consider, however, I was never really able to use that kind of thinking to put myself entirely at ease due to being aware that I still have to deal with everything on my own even if there are other people in the same situation as myself. That is, even in a safe situation, I'm still stuck managing my existence – that's something that no one else can do for me.
Also, like
>>742 said, that "90% garbage" figure applies to virtually everything. In fact, it's even been given a name: Sturgeon's revelation (alternatively Sturgeon's law).
>>741As long as you've those two or three close friends of yours, I'd say that you're in good shape, considering both that you've common interests and that you can interact with them without feeling exhausted afterward.
Thank you for sharing that Spanish proverb. I hadn't heard of it before now, but it's quite nice.
While it's probably in your best interest to keep your social skills at a reasonable baseline, I nonetheless encourage you to pursue your interests first and foremost. After all, it's your life, so what sense would it make if you spent it doing things that didn't engage or intrigue you (even if you were perhaps more adept at socializing as a result)?
>>742By working themselves so hard around the clock, your colleagues are well on their way to burn-out, so I'd say that you're taking the right approach by pacing yourself. On an unrelated note, I'm both mystified and fascinated by how you can enjoy the company of arbitrary strangers.
No.807
>>806 (continued)
>>745I know that feeling all too well. Recently, I've become increasingly aware of the fact that my friends can't entirely relate to my feelings or situation, or that their interests and mine are somewhat out of alignment. Whether or not this is truly the case or a mere consequence of feeling anxious and overthinking things, I consequently don't interact with them as much. This feeds back into itself, as I subsequently feel even more distanced from them, and so forth.
At any rate, I like your idea. I might try spending some time outside of my cramped little room in a library or coffee shop for a change of pace.
>>746It's all neuroscience, Sushi Roll. Right now, being social with people is difficult because you're adjusted to functioning alone. Fortunately, the wiring of your brain is highly malleable; with some time, perseverance, and practice, you'll find interacting with others to be significantly less taxing.
Just remember: People don't talk to you to judge you or anything like that. They talk to you because they're curious about you and want to learn more about who you are.
>>747I'm admittedly a little surprised, as practically all of the friendships that I forged during middle and high school decayed into nothingness not long after my graduation – and in spite of my attempts to remain in contact, mind you. Still, I'm glad that it's worked out for you.
Solitary walks are best walks, especially through lightly wooded areas.
Don't stress yourself over finding new friends. Instead, focus on your hobbies and passions. You'll bump into people with mutual interests along the way.
No.808
>>807 (continued)
>>748My walks typically consist of me walking a 3-mile lap of my suburban neighborhood, which is a rough square.
I hadn't considered the option of walking somewhere, stopping to eat, then walking more/back. I think I'll give that a shot.
>>749I agree, night walks are excellent for mulling over thoughts or simply for exercise and outdoor exposure. The only catch is that, should you take a walk along a road, drivers may have trouble seeing you, so I carry a flashlight with me on my night walks.
>>768If you don't mind my asking, how did you come to have photophobia? Also, why'd you have to move out of the city?
>>769If you're OK with it, then there's absolutely nothing wrong with your social life being abnormal or restricted in scope. The biggest downside to that sort of isolation that I've found is that, while I can be productive and think up or experience all sorts of interesting things, there's not much that I can do with them on my own. To phrase it differently, I find that sharing my thoughts, feelings, and ideas with others brings me satisfaction, and that's not something that I can experience on my own. But that's just me.
>>771>>772>>773I've no clue how (and am impressed that) you managed to build a lasting friendship from an incidental meeting on a bus, but I suppose that's no more or less random than how any other two friends meet.
I prefer walking without music, as I often go on walks to think something over or to clear my thoughts. As for a camera, on very rare occasions will I take my camcorder with me; that's only when, however, I'm doing urbex or something similar.
No.809
>>808I dunno, I can't remember a time when I didn't have it. Even when I was a toddler I'd have to wear sunglasses when I was outside in the daytime because the sunlight caused searing pain.
For awhile my family was homeless and we had to move from place to place for work and such. Some drama wound up making us settle down in this awful town in the middle of nowhere, but I'm hoping to move soon.
No.812
>>806>even in a safe situation, I'm still stuck managing my existence – that's something that no one else can do for meOh. I'm sorry, you're right, but yeah. I just… hm, I do my chores, school, job, whatever, and when I'm sure everything is fine and have some free time, I do stuff like this.
>>808>I've no clue how (and am impressed that) you managed to build a lasting friendship from an incidental meeting on a busIt's nothing deep but we seem to like each other; she just sat next to me and smiled a lot, and I realized she must be kind of a weeb too when she put out a manga and started reading it, so I started to talk to her, lol. I asked if she figured I might be a weeb too (and if that's why she sat next to me) and she said yes - I'm still unsure how, because I didn't have any print t-shirts or badges or anything, but yeah.
No.817
I preffer going out when buying stuff instead of buying online(so I can see the product beforehand), but other than that I'd rather stay home. I have a few friends I talk with every once in a while, play games and, once in a blue moon, drink cheap vodka with.
I'm not exactly a social retard since I can talk with people normally if we have something in common, but I'm also a shy Rainbow Roll, which makes it hard to make new friends or talk with random people, so I tend to hang out in chans way more than with actual people.
No.840
I like to chill and drink (kind of a lot) with friends. Sometimes illicit substances are also involved.
No.862
I've never really liked human relationships because they all seem so vapid and shallow. Most people around me only seems to talk about some celebrity that looks cute, or who's dating who, etc, and as an observer, it just boggles my mind. I just can't see how these people are satisfied about filling their brains with such trash. Even casual banter that happens between friends seems so useless and stupid.
Maybe it's because I've been so accustomed to people pouring their thoughts out on the wired that irl relationships has become less mentally enjoyable.
Anyway, I just can't see how one can make such deep emotional connections when all everyone does seem like bullshit.
>>840>>812>>740This is the type of stuff I can't understand. How do you even enjoy the company of another person "just because" it's them.
No.865
I wish I were in Korea or some European country that doesn't believe in small talk.
No.877
>>865I imagine it is easier to fall into absolute isolation where talking to strangers is looked down upon.
No.878
>>865Better yet a country where looking/smiling at passing strangers is weird and rude
No.896
>>769>Hanging out with people is really stressful. Sometimes they want to talk about serious stuff… makes these kind of conversations kind of tiring.>I just like to have trivial relaxing and senseless fun.Same. These days I can only hang out with normals if we're drinking. Some really suck up your energy with their insecurities and problems.
But I slip into depression when I don't interact with any women for a few days, so I put up with it. Need to buy myself a pocket flask.
It's really easy to forget just how fucking dumb people actually are.
>>865>koreans don't believe in small talkI don't know where you heard this. Their casual "Hey" greeting alone is ~4 words.
No.906
>>738How do you make friends past grade school? I just don't know how it's done. Once you're out of school, all social interaction just seems to become a game of appearance. You don't really say what's on your mind or act like yourself, you just do what's socially acceptable. You can meet acquaintances after school, but friends?
Graduating from grade school feels like it's the deadline for making new friends for the rest of your life.
No.913
>>896I didn't "hear" it anywhere. I experienced it directly.
No.920
Today I realized how lonely I am. My parents left for holidays to Mexico and I regret not having spent more time with them, as I will be away for quite some time too very soon. On the other hand being alone safes one from having to explain all those complicated emotions entwining in each other when someone is around, not to speak of forming them into human language.
>>916You made a good step with noticing that something is wrong. Please don't be too hard to yourself. Why did you lose trust in your friends?
No.921
I haven't left my house in 20 days. I recently started voice chatting (first time in 2 years) with a group of people I play games with online. I live in a really post industrial area, so walking outside isn't that great. My only irl friends have just been mary wanna smokers so the only social setting I know is the house/group toke seshs. I used to do that for a couple years, it was always fun. Could always talk about anything. Even someone you never met you would already have some click due to the group setting and smoke usage. I've never been able to bond with people like that since.
I don't know what other natural group settings of humans exist.
I've been only posting on Sushi Rollboards. I still feel it's the highest, most free form of speech you can have. I think it's easy for someone to read than listen. I think meeting new people is impossible.
I don't mind large public settings.
I think people tend to try to be my friend, and I've never made a friend on my own right.
No.1042
I like going out on my own and I don't do it enough, I spend way to long inside on my computer. I have two friends who are both at college where as i'm NEET so I have a lot of free time. I mostly just make music and lurk various chans. If I do go out with a friend it's normally a random drug fuelled adventure which can last days at a time, probably not very healthy but oh well
No.1043
i was pretty reclusive most of my life, it was just that my interests didnt line up with most peoples. in high school i became more social, and now in college im very social.
i only consider myself to have around 7 close/real friends, everyone else is just an acquaintance
No.1053
I wake up, go to work, lift weights, and go to sleep. Occasionally I'll play videogames or watch something from my huge backlog. I don't do much of anything, and I haven't had a non-work related conversation with anyone outside of my immediate family in months. I used to have a close circle of friends, but they all left town for careers/education, got married, and some are even starting their own families. I haven't really done anything, though I suppose I'm better at dealing with people now than I was when I graduated.
I spend too much time reading imageboards, but it's rare that I even post, these days. Trying to get into the Navy (Canadian), but if they don't take me, I'll sell my computer, spend my time volunteering and relax by reading at the library, and re-apply next year. I think to myself, "What's my life going to look like in ten years time?", and I realize nothing will change for the better, as things are.
I remember, as a kid, when I was asked what I wanted to do for a living, I just said I wanted to work an easy job, live cheaply, and spend my days playing videogames. Never understood why people looked at me funny, now I do. There's no point to it, anyone could do what I do, and I don't even enjoy it, so why do it? Something's gotta change, may as well be me.
No.1054
>>1052Just realized I butchered my post with grammar errors.
>scoop pawn shops*scope out pawn shops
>Something hang*sometimes hang
Last time I was with my friend it was in my apartment where we made a bet that if I lost the round in a FPS we're playing I would need to dress-up in a cosplay and wear for the rest of the night…I ended up losing it.
Other stuff may of also happened.
No.1055
>>921*update* for blogna thread
I haven't left my house in 40 days. I've had no irl friends for the last two years. I've never had a job in my life. I became a vegetarian 3 months ago, it's really helped my stomach issues. I'm pretty sure I've developed schizophrenia. I'm always shaky, sweaty, & nervous in any social situation. My hands have been clammy for years. All my online friends lie to me. I wish I was gay. I can't even order food at a restaurant. I'm completely unconditioned for the human experience. My emotions are unrelatable. I live like a monk.
No.1059
I like going out and walking around and seeing shops and whatever in the downtown districts. Windowshopping is fun, you see a lot of stuff. Once I was looking to buy some hats and there was a band playing in the "magasin" store that I was in. They were okay. Sometimes, I would also go and find little alleys filled with hipsters which makes me sad. Alleys used to be filled with hookers and stuff. Either way, the answer is yes. You can find a lot of stuff walking around. Unfortunately, I don't have any friends so it's hard to do it all alone but I enjoy doing it nonethelesss. Especially at night since I live in a nice place and there isn't a lot of bad people walking around like in other neighborhoods.
No.1096
I work part-time at a thrift store and save up money to buy a decent used motorhome to move into, since my discharge from the military and current job have me living with my father in an increasingly awkward situation with his new wife and a boarder. I lived with people who were serfs to inhospitable landlords for years, so I refuse to rent.
The town I live in is one of those Southern small cities where you could live your entire life and still have people give you looks as though you just landed in a flying saucer. Naturally, outside of work, I never seek out anyone and never drink in the bars. Everyone my age is a wigger/redneck hybrid who can only talk about sports and the people they know, so the social scene is vomitous. If "getting out" with the people here just leaves me depressed, I see no point.
Sorry for the uncozy levels.
>>1054Do not worry about it. Compared to the local Craigslist posts I read, you are Shakespeare.
No.1099
>>1096you know, I'm a southerner as well..
I moved to the city because I hated feeling so out of place with all the rednecks. But then I got older and started becoming this weeaboo-redneck hybrid thing, and now I can't relate to the city people anymore. I'm trying to move back lol.
I still wished I lived somewhere like Washington or Colorado wilderness. Alabama life is too hard.
No.1158
I have only four friends who I've known since elementary school. I have not made a single friend since then, I'm just completely unsure of how to naturally progress from the acquaintance phase to the friendship phase. I suppose I just feel incredibly vulnerable when I open myself up like that.
My small group of friends only get along with me because of how long we've known each other. We're comfortable with each other and enjoy each other's personalities; but when it comes to matters of taste, opinions, and just the way we live our lives, we are completely different. And as times goes on, we continue to grow farther apart.
They're important people to me and I don't think I'll ever stop hanging out with them, but it does get exhausting to even be around them sometimes. Having to filter yourself somewhat (mostly keeping quiet or feigning ignorance about internet culture/otaku type stuff) is draining, and being the obvious oddball in a group of pretty well-adjusted people quite high on the social hierarchy is so strange. It's like I get a backstage pass into what friendships are supposed to be like.
>>921>>1055Why did you stop hanging around your irl friends?
I know what you mean about living like a monk. It becomes so difficult to transition back into regularly speaking to people again, because you have nothing to talk about. I would always be so paranoid about simple questions like "so what do you do?" or "where have you been?" to the point that I wouldn't even bother.
No.1164
Used to know people. Some pushed me away even though I liked their friendship. Others just stopped calling or giving receptive signs. Alienated a few because of poor communication skills and narcissistic complexes developing as I got older. The only ones left are those I don't want to talk to anymore and those I've known the longest so there is a unbreakable temporal bond or at least I think it to be. I haven't spoken to them since last year because of shame, even though I know they would accept me even if I became homeless, but I am pretty gloomy atm and wouldn't want to impede lives that are actually going somewhere.
I liked all of the people I was friends with. I enjoyed the time we spent together. But at one point I started having a powerful yearning for caring people. My friends cared, but it was not enough for me, for what I was looking for. Still looking today.
No.1166
>>1165Be strong. You can make it, sushi.
No.1168
>>1165Don't worry sushi, that won't last forever.
Don't rush things, physical life won't last eternally, but prepare yourself for the most important step.
Raise your awareness, raise your consciousness.
Shit will get better but it's up to you when it'll get better, don't give up just yet: true loneliness is merely an illusion.
No.1179
>>1165I want to be your friend.
No.1187
>>1186Don't worry, Sushi Roll! If no one tries talking to you, that just means they're socially-awkward.
Trust me, even the most tactful people can get sheepish when put outside their comfort zone. But if you start off with a little small talk and genuinely wanna connect, odds are you'll be good as gold. I've made a good number of new friends and acquaintances at uni after figuring that out.
No.1192
>>771>Well, that's where a professional should help, you should consider visiting one if you haven't yet!Yeah I've been in treatment for some time, but it didn't work out very well. Anyway sometimes it gets in between of things I want to achieve but it's not that serious.
>>807>I've become increasingly aware of the fact that my friends can't entirely relate to my feelings or situation.Yeah, it appears we're in the same situation. Probably it's just the natural course of changing while you grow up.
>>1168Shit will get better but it's up to you when it'll get better.
This. I don't think you always have the power to change things but you must give your best, you have nothing to lose.
gambatte sushies !!
No.1193
>>1187You misunderstand. I'm not complaining about the fact that nobody talks to me. I'm just confirming that things make sense with that explanation applied, as much as with any other. explanation anyways.
I've already tried playing the "going out" game, and it's exhausting. You never really know anything about the person you're talking to no matter how long you've known them for, and if that's the case what the hell is the point of talking to them? I've seen people go from PVC anime figure collecting lolicons to dating middle aged women and calling me weird for collecting PVC figures just like they did. I've seen people so bright and cheerful that they draw in everybody around them and have an endless supply of friends, only to reveal to me in private that everything they do and say is a cold calculated act. Everybody hides behind masks, and I don't care about their masks anymore. Why waste my life learning about the fake personality they've built when the real person underneath could be so different?
I think my own "mask" is so bland and generic looking that nobody has any desire to talk to it, because I've never put any effort into decorating it. It's like my "fake personality" is just the default template. Why bother with it when there are better things to do? If I'm going to spend my time interacting with fake people I might as well watch anime and play computer games.
Incidentally that's exactly what I do.
No.1194
>>1193> If I'm going to spend my time interacting with fake people I might as well watch anime and play computer games.> Everybody hides behind masks, and I don't care about their masks anymore.Again, IMO, this ties back to social-awkwardness. Most people are scared to reveal their true colors in public; my Aspie roommate, for example, constantly hides the fact that he's a closet weeb, just because he thinks this one asshole on his sports team might make fun of him for it.
Conversely, as we get older, I've noticed that people are less and less accepting of quirky people and unfamiliar stimuli. For example, a group of highschoolers could see something mildly amusing and have a dialogue whose eloquence rivals that of a Shakespearian comedy. This seems to be far less common among adults, especially my fellow young adults, who would be keen to look on with a look of utter incomprehension and dismiss the event as quickly as possible.
The natural solution to this is to create a persona that lies mostly within peoples' comfort zones, but possesses just enough of your own eccentricities to be interesting. Sure, some people really are genuinely fake (Talk about an oxymoron.), but most people are simply limiting how much they show to the rest of the world, out of the fear that the world will reject them for being who they are.
No.1195
>>1193>>1194(cont.)
Further, I'd like to add that it's natural to wear different faces for different places. On here, for example, I'm kind and cerebral; but with my idiot cousins I get loud and smartassed; in college courses I'm shy, but enthusiastic; and when I'm with my closest friends, only then do the floodgates open, exposing me for the shameless weeb I really am. The reasoning for this is simple: Our relationships and mutual interests with people differ. Not everyone likes anime and vidya as much as you, but if you stick to small talk and throw in a little humor, even random strangers are gonna love talking to you. Who knows? If you're lucky, you might even make some connections.
Long story short: You're not fake if you hide certain parts of your personality; you're just facilitating connection for people who might not share the same interests as you.
And honestly, imagine how you'd feel if someone didn't hide at least *some* of their power level. There's a reason I'm not friends with this one Sperg; all he does is rattle off smartphone specifications, Yu-Gi-Oh! cards, and RC helicopter parts whenever I try talking to him. Don't let that be you.
